I have just pulled this title of this piece out of the air because I am not sure really where i am going with this blog. I am a person who doesn't watch much TV, but it seems like every I turn on the TV I am hearing about the recession and recovery, the recent forecast for the ecomony and what that means to me as a consumer. Personally, I care to a certain degree but the main things that rule my life are the things that impact myself and family on a daily basis. I am fortunate enough that my husband has not been cut back in all of the scale backs and layoffs in his company and even though we take a deep breath every time it happens, we know it could be us and are that much more grateful when it is not. Mostly though, I am concerned with my kids and foremost, my inner circle of family and friends and then all of the other external outside political, economical, and wordly things that occur every day. Not to say i don't keep up, I do; but, it is just not that important to me unless I am directly impacted by it.
So after thirteen years of marriage i started thinking that marriages are a lot like business cycles. We go through all of the motions every day to stay in the green and not deplete to the negative side of the bank account and become overdrawn. Using the analogy of the ecomomy and marriage is a stretch but not really if think about it.
For example, a recession is defined as being a time when there is a contraction, a slowdown in growth, profits decline and unemployment may rise. That is the business cycle definition of a recession. Can't we make a similar comparison in marriage? For example a recession in marriage may be being a contraction or a decline in growth of the participants. One person may be overspending and overwithdrawing their resources to stay afloat, borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, that kind of behavior. Spouses let there true self become more visible and vulnerable. This may be the stage after the honeymoon is over and partners become disenchanted, an affair, emotional or physical may occur. A recession in a marriage could also be an addiction with alchohol, gambling, sex, porn, abuse etc.. the list goes on and on.
Yes, "emotional affairs" are the new buzz in marriages. You don't have to actually cheat on your spouse in a physical manner but you get the emotional connection with someone else that you are not getting at home with your spouse. It is kind of tricky, but it is the newest soup du jour for marital unbliss. It is the unaffair, no physical intimacy, "I didn't inhale", "I never had physical intercourse with that woman", "I didn't cheat i swear, I love you and only you, I was lost and now i am found again because I am caught, etc...", "I only took pictures and sent naughty texts and poured my heart out, but I still love you honey, your the best sweetie". Yes, it is that sort of thing that occurs in recessionary times in a marriage. In my personal opinion, I think marriages go through these sort of things. I am not condoning or condeming it, I believe that these sort of things happen.
Recessions are not supposed to be good times, they are riddled with challenging experiences. Will i lose my home, will i lose my job, what if I lose my job and i can't support my family, what if I can't find another job making $200,000 a year or whatever amount that business person may be earning. Isn't it the same thing when we are in a recession of marriage? What if i get caught, what if i lose my family, what if i become financially destitute because i choose to leave my spouse cause now i may have to pay alimony , support for the kids, and numerous other complications the recessionary marriage may be going through.
On a positive note, like economic recovery what goes down must come up again. It is the law of economics. Things dip to a point where they reach a level of resistance and they have to recover or move back into the rebound stage. Granted some people choose to end their marriages and rightfully so, there are some things that just cannot sometimes be overcome. I believe one of the main factors in a rebound in recovery at least on the marital side is accepting responsibility for one's part in the recession. Maybe both parties stopped spending when they should have been racking up the cards, and perhaps the bankrupcies occured as a consequence of irresponsibility on both parties. Unfortunately, it would be easy to say it is all the other's fault but we know that economics is a result of many different macroeconomic variables which if you break it down is a very similar analogy to marriage. So, remember it goes both ways, and spend away after all we all want a thriving economy right?
